When we see the word dependence somewhere, wherever it is, we all have a sort of thrill running down the spine. The addiction is scary because it is very often associated with bad things like tobacco, drugs, alcohol. Then see this word so scary attached to this other, which is so dear to us, the affection, may seem strange. So, let’s take a look at what effective dependence is and how to recognize it? Focus.
Affective dependence what’s it?
The expression of emotional dependence refers to the intense suffering that a person can feel in a relationship because his own emotional needs are not satisfied by the love returns of the other. This expression conveys, among other things, the idea that the affective requirements of the dependent are too excessive or even immature. Consequently, the affective addict (or DA) will tend to seek an outward solution to his inner needs without these can ever be filled in this way. And this way of doing things has dramatic consequences for his love life.
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How to recognize a profile of affective dependent?
After such a serious definition you want facts, concrete. Objectively, an affective dependent person always repeats the same emotional pattern, anchored in her since childhood. It is a person who often has had tough relationships with his parents during his development, preventing him as an adult from becoming emotionally independent. Thus the DA is most often subject to unrealistic expectations towards his companion or companion, demands impossible to meet, permanent dissatisfactions. In addition to this, the DA will have great difficulty finding a partner that suits him and will choose the more often, unconsciously, for someone who is unsuitable and who will suffer even more. And yes! We all know someone around us, unhappy like stones with a companion or companion who does not or deserves it and who continues to cling desperately!
Locked in this vicious circle, the affective addicted person will have to deal with a constant need for love and attention, the obsession to make this partner unsatisfied happy and finally, to undergo many breaks that are a little bit alike.
“I think I’m dependent/dependent emotional, how do I get out?”
Dependency is only truly dependent when needs become a source of suffering. Being an emotional addict is not an illness but a choice. An unconscious choice certainly, but a choice all the same. It is the choice to live one’s life through one’s companion or companion! Indeed, the state of dependence provides very intense sensations that must be renounced to flourish truly. Once you become aware of your addiction and the fact that whoever shares your life is not your “love dealer,” the hard part is already done. Most often, the DA must learn to love himself as he is and no longer play the chameleon to satisfy everyone.